


What remains - The Prologue

by Cerisia (orphan_account)



Series: What remains [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Conversation, Cullen X Trevelyan - Freeform, Dialogue, Dragon Age - Freeform, F/M, Haven, Training, argument, beginning, cullen rutherford - Freeform, flirt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Cerisia
Summary: Cerisia tries her hand at a fighting technique that she doesn't succeed in. Cullen gives her advice and she practices afterwards. Both talk in the tavern and feel a chemistry between them.
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford
Series: What remains [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566382
Kudos: 5





	1. The slipping boots

**Author's Note:**

> This is the prologue to the main series "What remains". I re wrote it a bit to make it more understandable and detailed. Also this series will be continued with several chapters soon! The prologue will only have stories placed in Haven!

Preparations have been underway in Haven for several days and Cerisia recovered after the failed attempt to close the breach. She got up early to do her daily training. This was her little morning ritual, which she had performed every morning since her soldier training. Cerisia put on her training gown. Even though it looked very thin, it kept her warm. She took her sword out of its holder and opened the door. Most of Haven's residents were still asleep. It was just before dawn and Cerisia ran over to the training dummies at the lake. The snow glittered slightly and the fresh air kept Cerisia awake. Before each training session she warmed herself up with stretching exercises. She stretched out her arms and took a deep breath.

_"Here we go."_

She hit the training dummy. Cerisia had difficulties with her coordination for days and tried to focus more on her goal. She tried to hit the upper part of the dummy's body while turning. Due to the snow she slipped slightly during the turn and lost her balance. She tried to hit the doll with her last strength but missed her target and fell to the ground. Frustrated, she grabbed her head.

"Damn it!"

"You should watch your breathing while turning," cried a voice from not too far away. She turned around and saw the commander standing in front of her. 

"Excuse me, but I know what I am doing. I do not require any advice."

"Well, I just wanted to help you."

"I appreciate it, thank you very much. But what are you doing up so early, if you don't mind me asking?"

"The Inquisition is taking longer than expected. That's why I usually start earlier than usual."

"For you to hold such a high position is admirable."

Cullen understood that Cerisia was being sarcastic. He pulled his eyebrows together for a brief moment, angrily. She and Cullen did not have the best start and she tried to avoid him as best she could. To her, the commander was nothing but a man resting in his position. Cerisia looked at the dummy in frustration. She knew that Cullen might be right - but would not admit it. To let up now would not be her character at all. She bit her lips - looking briefly at Cullen - and exhaled slightly annoyed.

"So you think if I can breathe, I can turn around?"

"Oh, now you want my advice? From a pretentious commander?"

"You can still try. I think you're wrong, Cullen. I'll prove it to you, just tell me how."

"As you lunge, take as deep a breath as you can. This will increase your focus on the spin and then you can exhale."

Cullen crossed his arms at a distance and looked past her. To him, she was a stubborn, bossy soldier who brought chaos to all of Thedas. He would be practically blamed if she broke something and that would be more than inconvenient for him. Cerisia looked over at him with a threatening, slightly annoyed look. 

She swung out and made the turn while paying attention to her breathing. Still she slipped and lost her balance again. She started to sway. Cullen reacted instinctively and caught her. His arms grabbed her upper body and Cerisia felt how tightly he clung her around her, looking deep into her eyes for a moment, slightly shockingly.

 _"I...I'm in the commander's arms?!"_

she thought to herself and suddenly felt a pleasant feeling in her stomach. She blinked up a few times and stood up in shock, tapping her thighs. Cullen looked over at her, amazed at himself. 

"Forgive me! I didn't make it again. But, as you can see, it didn't work out."

"Sorry I caught you, I-"

"I know you did it just out of reflex. Still... thanks for catching me. Your reflexes are very good - I'll give you that."

"But for the beginning it looked very good. The swordplay was cleaner this time. But I think your shoes are the real problem.

"I think so, too. Thanks for your advice, though, Commander."

Cerisia thanked him with a smile. There was a brief embarrassing silence. Cullen embarrassingly put his hand on his neck and looked to the side while Cerisia couldn't stop looking at him. For a brief moment she tried to sort out her excitement and feelings. Before she would say anything to fill the silence, the commander beat her to it. His redness was not yet completely gone and he tried to make eye contact without attracting attention.

"Well... we still have some time. Perhaps you'd like to join me at the tavern with a warm drink?"

"Yes... I'd love to. It's a little fresher than usual."

Cerisia nodded and chuckled. Cullen looked at her purposefully - smiling slightly as well and both went to the tavern. When they arrived there, they both saw that there was nobody there except the innkeeper. The fireplace had just been lit and it was only getting a little warmer.

"Greetings commander! The usual?"

"Yes, thank you very much. Would you like some tea?"

"I'd love to."

Both sat at a window and looked embarrassingly past each other from the previous incident. Cerisia looked out the window, almost lost in thought. She watched as the sun slowly rose and the snow on the roofs and the frozen lake began to glisten. Cullen watched the fire in the fireplace - how the fire gently played with the wood and crackled. He looked back at Cerisia and tried to somehow mask the renewed embarrassing silence. 

"Where are you from, may I ask?"

"From Ostwick. From the noble house of Trevelyan."

"Ostwick"? I was there a few years ago. It was very nice there. And though you come from a noble family, you are a soldier? Did you make this decision freely?"

The innkeeper gave them both their cups of warm tea. It smelled of cinnamon and apples. Cerisia looked at Cullen with a brief smile and carefully embraced the hot cup. He looked and listened to her carefully.

"Yes, is that a problem, Commander? It's not unusual for women to begin soldiering training."

"Th-that's not what I meant! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you!"

He stuttered while Cerisia looked at him sceptically and blew her tea cooler. She left a smile and took it with humor and saw how clumsy Cullen looked at her and he didn't even notice. She looked over at him with a sly look while Cullen took a sip of his tea.

"I know. In fact, the women of the nobility are rather averse to it and prefer banquets and beautiful dresses. But I see you work this early every morning."

"Yes, I'm out all day. There's no time for a break. So I always come here in the morning and have a cup of tea before the real work starts."

Cullen explained while Cerisia also took a sip of tea. She was quite surprised when she tasted it. Her eyes became surprisingly big.

"The tea is really delicious. It warms my heart right up!"

she joked and watched the tea smiling. From her green eyes manifested in thoughts he patterned every look from her.

"Mine too."

"Excuse me?"

"I-I meant that the tea keeps me nice and warm!"

She blushed and took a sip out of nervousness. They both spent some time in the tavern and told about their adventures from back then. Day broke and the tavern brightened. Cullen looked over at the window.

"Looks like I'll have to say goodbye for now, unfortunately. It's been a pleasure. We should do this again sometime."

"I'd love to, but then you can tell me the story of how you got your scar." Cerisia laughed and looked at his scar. Cullen hid it shamefully with his hand and smiled gently.

"Maybe some other time. I'll... see you around." Cullen chuckled embarassed and left the tavern.Later, Cerisia looked into her cup, which was still filled with some tea. Lost in thought, she remembered the incident during the training. She again felt this queasy, comfortable feeling in her stomach. 

_"What is this feeling?"_

She couldn't explain it to herself and tried to get rid of this thought and looked over to the window again. Her heart was beating wildly and she felt a strange kind of security. She did not think about it any further and left the tavern.

Several hours passed and Cerisia talked to Cassandra in the tent in front of the church. Cerisia had the task to collect some elf roots around the quarter for the production of medicine. She held her basket with the surprisingly rich yield in her hand.

"Oh...that's a good yield, Trevelyan! I thought we'd exhausted all the ressources."

"Yes, I was surprised too. I know I shouldn't move away from the quarter too much, but on the other side there are quite a few. I will take them to our alchemists now, this number should be enough for the next missions."

"Thank you for your trouble. I know I've been asking a lot of you lately, but I received a scroll from a mercenary. I have some unfinished business, however, could you-"

"Of course, Cassandra. I'll take the scroll to the commander."

"How do you know the report has to go to Cullen?"

"Oh, um, I just guessed. I'd like to leave the basket here for a while, if that's fine."

answered Cerisia with an insecure laughter and took the scroll. She placed the basket with the elf roots on a table and nodded over to Cassandra. She ran to the small church and went to Cullen's office. Carefully she knocked on the door and then opened it. The commander sat on his desk and made the rosters for the recruits. He looked up at the door and smiled slightly when he saw Cerisia with the scroll.

"Lady Trevelyan. Good to see you again."

"Greetings, Commander. I have here a report from one of your soldiers."

She walked over to his desk and glanced at Cullen. He seemed more relaxed and less tired than usual. Cerisia handed him the scroll. As she handed it to him, Cullen unwittingly took her hand. She remained in brief rigor and felt his soft skin on the back of her hand. Cerisia tried to keep her composure as she felt this renewed pounding in her heart. It was only a few seconds but for both of them the moment felt like an eternity. His eyes sparkled and his lips trembled slightly with excitement. He could hardly take his eyes off her now. Cullen blinked and accepted the report without further ado.

"Thank you very much. I'll-I'll take care of it." he added with a slight stammer. Cerisia embarrassingly took her hand and placed it on her upper arm. "Y-yes. You're welcome. I'll say goodbye." She turned her tautly around and took a step forward while colliding with the chair next to her. Embarrassed, she straightened the chair and left the office in a swift gangway. He was startled for a moment inside, sweetly wallowing Cerisia's clumsiness and watching her close the door slightly hectically. For a moment she leaned against the wall next to the door and looked up at herself frustratedly towards the ceiling and rubbed her forehead.

_"At the builder. You can't embarrass yourself any more than that."_

Cerisia had been agitated all day. It just wasn't gonna be her day. She wondered all the time why the commander was looking at her like that while he was touching her hand. She shook her head and tried to distract herself by training again. She tried it several times and failed again and again. Frustrated, she looked at her sword and puffed with rage.

"Damn it! Cerisia stop thinking about it so much," she said to herself and tried the attack again. This time she succeeded and she felt good. Finally she managed the attack.

 _"Once more.!_

Cerisia carried out the attack again - with success. She practiced until dusk and perfected her leadership. Her execution was not yet perfect as she had expected, but unlike this morning she was satisfied with her progress. Cullen had been watching her from a distance for several minutes. He leaned against a wall and folded his arms with a smile. "Very good. One more time." she said quietly to herself and carried out the attack one last time. "YES! Perfect!" she said with joy and laughed at her success. She looked to the side and was startled. Cullen ran towards her with a satisfied look.

 _"How long has he been standing there? Oh no, how pathetic of me!"_

"Very good! I'm surprised you managed it in one day. Sorry if I scared you."

"Yes. It was just the breathing and the shoes. Thanks again, Commander. I should apologize for my behavior this morning - it was inappropriate. Sometimes I can be very stubborn. It... was not my intention."

"Oh, that's all right - sometimes you want to make it on your own, don't you? Would you like to try one last time before you finish training?" 

"All right. For you."

Cerisia was full of ambition, but she had a different plan. She wanted to test Cullen - and herself. She wondered if what happened today was just a coincidence. Cerisia took another swing and breathed deeply. She turned and dropped the sword and herself. Cullen quickly caught her like he did this morning and picked her up by her back and thighs. She looked him slyly in the eyes as he looked at her with big eyes. She felt Cullen start to tremble when he realized where he was touching her.

"And that was on purpose. Your reflexes have improved, too. And I think I can trust you."

Cullen blushed and was confused at the same time. Cerisia got up and picked up her sword and ran towards the hut.

"Will I see you tomorrow over a cup of tea?"

"Y-yeah... I'd love to."

"Fine, just don't work too long Commander. I don't like to wait."

she said goodbye laughing while he looked at Cerisia with a smile. Cullen also turned around and ran back to his office with a mischievous but embarrassingly touched look.

"Interesting tactics, Lady Trevelyan."


	2. Just a tool

After Alexios had given up and the troops returned to Haven, Cerisia was in her hut and unpacked her supplies. She had the feeling that the commander was anything but enthusiastic about the decision to support the magicians. Although she knew that Cullen, as a former Templar and after the uprisings in Kirkwall, was not really in favor of the magicians, she saw Cullen's disappointed, almost menacing look on her arrival. He did not exchange a word with her and returned to his office. She put her supplies on the table and unpacked her clothes. 

_" He can't blame me for that. The Inquisition decided by majority vote. I'll have to talk to him later. This is nonsense." ___

She shook her head and broke off. Cerisia needed fresh air and nearly ripped the door open. Worried, she sat down on the shore and watched the frozen lake. Over and over again she remembered Cullen's cold look and felt her heart stop but also how angry she was at him. 

"You shouldn't pout so. It'll give you wrinkles, and that's not gonna look so good at the party tonight." 

"Dorian Pavus? I'm not sulking! What are you talking about?!" 

"Excuse me, but even a golem would notice your turds." 

Dorian sat down next to Cerisia who was resting her head on her hands. She tried not to look at him because she knew he was right. Still she peered over unnoticed for a moment. 

"Now you see I was right, don't you, Trevelyan?" 

Her eyes changed directly to the lake and she felt how quickly she blushed. Dorian left a quiet giggle and supported himself behind his back. Both sat on the shore - alone. As the sun went down and the ice glittered. He looked over at her again and exhaled. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

"You don't even know me. What do you care what's bothering me?" 

"Well, now would be the perfect time to get to know each other properly. Let me guess - you've upset someone?" 

Cerisia sighed and sat up straight. She already suspected that she couldn't escape Dorian. Not any more. 

"A member of the Inquisition didn't like our decision very much. And he made me feel it. He doesn't take too kindly to the magicians."

"Ah... the Commander, I see. Well, I don't know his background, but I think you should talk to him." 

"Oh, thank you, I've thought of that." 

She said pouting. Both looked at each other briefly and laughed. For no reason - it just happened. Cerisia felt comfortable with Dorian, although they had only known each other for a few days - even if only briefly. She stood up cheered up. 

"Thank you Mr Pavus. I think I will speak to the commander about this right away. We should have a drink together later - my treat." 

"I wouldn't say no to that. I will linger a little longer. If you like, you can tell me later how it ended. 

Cullen sat at his desk and let the reports through. He held Cerisia's report in his hand again. For the third time he let it through and felt an inexplicable rage. There was a knock at the door and he asked the person to come in. He was surprised that it was Cerisia and tried not to look surprised. He put the report aside and his gaze was empty - almost emotionless. 

"Commander... do you have a moment or am I interrupting?" 

"No. What is it?" 

"I wanted to ask if everything's okay? I know you were more eager to help the Templars...but we didn't make those decisions and..." 

She was afraid to go on. Cerisia's fear of escalating a fight was too great, but this left him cold. He saw her insecurity - unusual for him. 

"Go on." 

"Excuse me if I'm getting too personal, but I'm not alone in this decision. I know you are not good with magicians, but I for one thought it was the easier and safest decision to choose magicians. I have felt your rejection of me. I just think we should accept that the decision is irreversible and we should work together." 

He raised his left eyebrow and stood up. Cullen took Cerisia's report and held it up to her. Cerisia looked at him unsuspectingly for a moment. He shook his head and put the report back on the table. 

"Are you out of your mind, Trevelyan?! You trusted that magician. It was too great a risk travelling with him. What if you hadn't come back?! "This is not what we agreed. You're going to the future." 

"Did I have a choice? Commander, I was aware of the risk and I was able to prevent a bigger disaster with Mr Pavus! I know that only I can close the cracks And I also know..." 

Cerisia dropped out for a moment. She was angry - furious. For these people she was not a herald, not a heroine - but a means to an end. And Cullen's words confirmed this to her. Her eyes spoke volumes, as if green flames were shining in her eyes. 

**"I also know that I am only an object for you. Just a tool! Only I can close the rifts - if not close the breach again!"**

Cullen's heart stopped and he looked over at her frozen. Fascinating how quickly Cerisia had changed from her insecurity to a vociferous lioness. 

"No...that's not what I meant, I-" 

"I understand, Commander. I "m also for nothing but a means to an end. Let "s leave it at that. But accept that we made this decision together to support the magicians. And accept that I am not as weak and insecure as I usually seem." 

Cerisia turned to the door without further ado and slammed it shut. She ran out of the church with clenched fists to her hut. She grabbed an axe. 

_"You are so stupid Cerisia. The training from a few days ago - what were you thinking?! That man doesn't see you as a woman. You shouldn't let your feelings out. No man on earth is worth it! Not Cullen, not Jorah - nobody."_

Meanwhile, Cullen followed her quietly. He didn't mean what he said earlier and watched in bad conscience as Cerisia tried to calm down in anger. 

"The Herald Andrastes - Bullshit am I! I'm just the one who closes the gap. No one will thank me! I didn't mean for this to happen." 

They cut up one log after the other. Drops of sweat were beaming down on her forehead from all the effort. Cerisia had this one moment to let herself go completely - without even realizing it. Except for Cullen. He took a deep breath and ran towards her. Ashamed, he put his hand on the back of his neck. Cerisia heard the footsteps in the snow and turned around. Her eyes were still full of anger and disappointment. She smashed the axe into the stump of the tree. 

"What do you want?" 

"I wanted to apologize for my words. I didn't mean it, I just -" 

"No, it's all right, Commander. I've resigned myself to it. At least we have a bit more wood for the fireplaces now." 

"I was worried about you, Cerisia." 

Cerisia was not particularly pleased to hear this. She was indifferent to this statement and Cullen saw it in her eyes. 

"I don't know how to explain it better but... I... we lost someone important. Not because you are the herald Andrastes, but because you do a lot for the Inquisition. You express your concerns, try to deal with many objects and also to bring us consultants back to the bottom of the matter. 

"Thanks, Cullen, I appreciate it. I think I should apologize, too. I took it the wrong way." 

Cerisia left a little smile as she looked at Cullen. A weight fell off his shoulders and his facial muscles relaxed. Now they were both standing at the woodcut - without further conversation. For Cerisia and Cullen a quite unpleasant situation. Cerisia didn't miss that Cullen had corrected herself earlier when it came to her loss. She chuckled briefly, which made Cullen feel insecure. He raised his eyebrows in surprise and looked at Cerisia questioningly. 

"It's okay. I just had to think about something for a moment. "But it looks like you've done your job for the day, Commander."

"Y-Yes!"

She walked to the wooden beams that she had smashed earlier and straightened some up. She turned briefly to Cullen and looked over at him in a slightly impish way. 

"Well... would you like to go back to training?" 

Cullen hastily remembered the last practice and felt his face warm up. 

"Gladly T-Trevelyan. We gotta get ready." 

"Good but first-" Cerisia broke off and took the axe, which she then handed over to Cullen with a smile. "- we should end this, right? We need more wood." Cullen smiled and shook his head. Both worked together on the remaining logs - a slightly different training. 


End file.
